Muri iyi minshi, biragoye guha ubukwe ubusobanuro, kuko ubona buriwese abuha ubwo yishakiye. Kandi urebye usanga nabwo gutandukana kubasha...
N’ubwo tudatera amabuye abatandukanye, kuko basanze hari ibyo batari guhuza, nabwo ntitunirengagize ko uretse no mu muco Nyarwanda ndetse nomuyindi mico myinshi. Iyo abantu biyemeje kubana nk’umugabo n’umugore baba bifuzako babana akaramata. Ndetse n’abemera Bibilia bakagira n’imirongo ibigaragaza ko ari itegeko.
Ndetse uko iminsi igenda yicuma, bamwe bagenda banavuga ngo urubyiruko rw’iki gihe rushakana rutaramarana igihe. Nyamara wajya kubaza igihe nyacyo bumva bamarana kugira ngo babone gufata umwanzuro wo kubana, nabwo ugasanga ntibivugwaho kimwe.
Twifashishije ibitabo by’abasesenguzi batandukanye Ubumwe.com, bifuje kukugezaho ibintu bifatwa nk’iby’ingenzi wakagombye kumenya kuri mugenzi wawe mbere y’uko mufata umwanzuro wo kubana. Kugira ngo wirinde kuzatungurwa nabi mwaramaze kubana.
Ubwo byanagufasha kumenya niba igihe cyageze cyo kubana cyangwa kitaragera , ngo ufate umwanzuro.
Ni gute ufata/ ushushanya ubuzima bwa 2 ,biyemeje kuba umwe ?
Hari ababana bakunda guhora bari kumwe, hari abandi babana bumva bakorana akazi kamwe, abandi bakumba umwe yakora ukwe bakajya bahurira murugo, hari undi ukunda gusoza akazi, akaba ari wenyine , undi akumva akanya kose yaba ari kumwe na mugenzi we.
Wowe ugomba kumenya mugenzi wawe icyo akunda muri ubwo buzima kuko bizagufasha, kumenya uko witwara, utamubangamiye nawe kandi utabangamiwe.
Kubyara cyangwa kutabyara ? Niba ari yego abana bangahe ?
Ntabwo ari itegeko, ariko abenshi umusore n’umukobwa bakunda kubana kugira ngo nabo bakore umuryango wabo, ubakomokaho. Nibyiza rero kuganira kuri iki kibazo kugira ngo mutangire guteganya no kubyitegura .
Niba urugero umukobwa yifuza urubyaro ndetse abana benshi, umusore we yarifuzaga umwana wenda umwe, kandi nawe akaza nyuma y’imyaka 7 cyangwa 8 babana, ubwo mbere yo kubana bakagombye kubimenya, ndetse buriwese akumva aho yahurira na mugenzi we, cyangwa uwaharira mugenzi we.
Amafaranga uyaha akahe gaciro ?
Hariho, abantu bakunda kwifata nk’aboroheje cyane, n’iyo yaba akorera nk’amafaranga menshi, ukabona acishije bugufi, akaba atabasha kwubaka inzu kugira ngo atajya mu myenda n’ubwo yaba afite uburyo bwo kuyishyura, akaba atagura imodoka apfa kuba gusa afite uburyo agendamo, ukabona yambara imyenda yoroheje ndetse na compte ye yumva yayimenya we wenyine, kugira ngo hatagira uwamukoreshereza amafaranga uko atabyifuza.
Hari undi muntu wifuza gukoresha udufaranga twe n’iyo twaba ari duke ariko akagaragara neza,… Ibi rero ugomba kumenya mugenzi wawe, hanyuma mukamenya n’uburyo muzacunga imitungo yanyu mwembi.
Ese ni uwuhe mwanya/agaciro uha umuryango w’umugabo/umugore ?
Hari umuntu udashobora kumara icyumweru adasuwe n’ababyeyi cyane cyane nyina umubyara cyangwa abandi bavandimwe. Hari n’undi kumuhamagara 2 cyangwa 3 mu mwaka ,hanyuma bagasangira rimwe kuri Noheli ibyo akumva birahagije.
Hari n’igihe yaba yarijeje ababyeyibe ko azabatwara murugo rwe n’amara gushaka kuko bashaje. Ese waba wumva ibi mubyumva kimwe ? Kuko bitabaye ibyo cyangwa ukumva ukowe abyumva utabyihanganira. Ibi bishobora kunyeganyeza urugo rwanyu, ndetse sintinye no kuvuga ko byanarusenya.
Ese mu bizima busanzwe ukunda iki ?
Ibi byaba bijyanye na politique, Iyobokamana,Uburere bw’abana, uburyo bwo kurya,…Birashoboka ko ibi byaba imbogamizi y’umubano wanyu. Umwe ashobora kuba akunda ibiryo birimo amavuta n’inyama nyinshi, undi akaba yikundira ibiryo rwatsi bidatetse. Ibi mugomba kubiganiraho mbere yo kwiyemeza kubana ndetse mukamenya nokubifatira ingamba uburyo bizajya bikorwa.
Iyo bavuze imibonano mpuzabitsina wumva iki?
Ntabwo abantu bose bumva kimwe imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ushobora gukunda umuntu,ariko ntiwumva hari irari ryo gukora imibonano mpuza bitsina( Mbese ukabona uramwishimiye). Hari n’undi iyo ukunze umuntu badahuje igitsina ikiza cyihuta muri we, ari ubushake bw’uko bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Ubwo ugomba kumenya agaciro mugenzi wawe aha iki gikorwa kugira ngo utazafata umwanzuro uhubutse ukazicuza nyuma.
Ese witeguye kuba twajyana mu Gihugu icyo aricyo cyose ?
Ese mu gihe byabaho ko wabona amahirwe yo kujya mu Gihugu runaka kubw’inyungu, umugore/umugabo wawe arumva azaba yiteguye ko mujyana ? Cyangwa se niba wararose kuva kera ko uzajya ubika amafaranga runaka kugira ngo buri myaka 2 mugire aho mujya gutemberera n’umuryango, uwo muzabana muzabyumva kimwe ndetse anakwemerere ko mujyana ?
Ese nigute tuzafatanya imirimo yo murugo ?
Eh birashoboka ko wigeze kubitekereza cyangwa ntunabitekereze, ariko ni ikintu cya ngombwa cyo gutekerezaho mbere y’uko mufata umwanzuro wokubana. Cyane cyane aho mu bihugu byinshi bagenda bateza imbere umuco w’uburinganire n`ubwuzuzane hagati y’abagabo n’abagore, bamwe bikagenda bibabangamira, bitewe n’ibyo bari bamenyereye cyangwa babonanye iwabo. Ni ngombwa ko iki mufata umwanya mukakiganiraho.
Niba mugenzi wawe akunda isuku, ariko ntacyo yayikoraho. Akumva agomba kukwereka ibitameze neza yiyicariye. Undi nawe akabona abangamirwa gukora imirimo irenze 4,5 mugenzi we yiyicariye adacitse amaboko ! Ibi ni ibintu mugomba kuvuganaho mbere y’uko mwiyemeza kubana ndetse byanaba ngomba mugasaranganya imirimo, buriwese akamenya icyo azajya akora murugombere y’uko mufata umwanzuro wo kubana.
Akahise kawe kameze gate ?
Aha ntibisobanuye ko ugomba kumenya akadomo ku kandi bya mugenzi wawe, kuko burimuntu agira akarima k’ibanga rye, kandi uku niko umuntu ateye. Ariko nabwo kumenya nibura imirongo imwe n’imwe yaranze akahise kuwo wifuza ko muzabana ningombwa.
Urugero rw’ibyo wamenya : Ese waba warigeze ufungwa,Ese hari ingaruka z’ibiyobyabwenge ubana nabyo ? Ese hari imyenda y’abandi ufite ? Ese hari umuntu mwigeze gukundana , ntibishoboke ko mubana ariko mugihura kenshi ? Ese hari umwana wabyaye hanze ? Ese hari uburwayi budakira ubana nabwo ?,…..Nawe ndabizi ko mumutwe wawe hahise haza ibindi byinshi wamubaza.
Ibi bizagufasha kumenya uwo mugiye kurwubakana, uko ameze n’uko uzamufasha, ndetse n’icyo umukeneyeho nawe agukeneyeho.
Numara kwumva ibi byose ugashyira ku ijanisha ugasanga ibyo utakwihanganira aribyo byinshi. Ubwo menya ko uwo atariwe uwawe, hanyuma aho nahita nkubwira ngo igihe ntabwo kiragera, hanyuma ugashaka undi wumva muzahuza.
Mbifurije amahirwe masa.
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